As a psychotherapist working with shame, self-esteem and the inner critic, I like to focus more on making use of your choices when you uncover that you are already good enough and less on healing your so-called broken parts. Together we can explore the masks you wear to hide the parts of yourself you consider too shameful to share with others, the striving to be something you are not or don’t even want to be, the unrealistic expectations you may place on yourself and others. I propose that being comfortable in your own skin, whether you are alone or with others, is better than perfection. Psychotherapy can help shed those uncomfortable skins and masks that are borne from shame and may no longer serve you. Those that do serve you we can keep but let’s be choiceful about that process.
According to Jonice Webb, Ph.D., Childhood Emotional Neglect happens when your parents fail to adequately respond to your emotional needs as they arise in you. If you grew up in this way, you are inevitably suppressing or walling off your emotions as an adult because you were taught that your emotions aren’t important. Childhood Emotional Neglect is largely invisible, and therein lies its power. It is a type of trauma but, unlike abuse, it is characterized not by an event or a presence but by a non-event or an absence.
Symptoms of Childhood Emotional Neglect:
- Inner emptiness
- Guilt, shame, anger, blame
- Fear of depending on and trusting others
- Lack of self-compassion
- “There is something wrong with me”
- Difficulty identifying and expressing emotions
What we can do
Healing happens by accessing and valuing your emotions. When you know and value yourself on the inside, you can start to change your life on the outside. Call or email me to get started on this process.
I’m a huge fan of the TV show Mr. Robot, and I see myself as working therapeutically with the Elliots of the world. If you are experiencing disconnection, disillusionment, disempowerment, if you are feeling alone but also ambivalent about contact, if different parts of your psyche are in conflict with each other, I would love to use my experiential, relational, humanistic approach to support you in feeling more connected to yourself and the world and finding peace with who you are.
Welcome to Vera’s new website for Germany.